Beer For Dad!
Today my Dad’s birthday fell on a Sunday, so we celebrated it in style. Every other year since he passed away 11 years ago I have taken the day off and had a few beers in his honor (he loved beer)…This year I lucked out and had amazing weather & the boys were with me, so we hung out, golfed nine holes, talked about my Dad & BBQ’d @ home (I still had a few beers for him though!).
My dad (Dick) was Irish & loved his beer (A LOT) and in his own odd way he loved us quite a bit. He didn’t always show it, but every once in awhile he could shock you. My favorite thing about him was his great sense of humor, the way he could act like a kid & his great laugh. I really miss him. He died just a bit too early because he would have loved to see my boys & I’m guessing in his own odd way he would have been an awesome grandpa (probably a better grandpa than Dad).
Golfing For Grandpa:
A few of the things I remember about Dick:
- He was a mailman for 30 years (then retired for 6) and I’m astounded he never got hit by a car because he never looked up. He always was scouring the ground for loose change, kicking the dirt around parking meters & he always found lots. He use to come home with the deep mailman pants pockets full of change & he’d let us grab handfuls of coins. Sometimes when I needed money for school lunch or other fees he’d say go get it out of my pockets. We were the only family that paid for things like school lunch, movies, etc. with nickles & dimes (once in awhile we’d find that elusive quarter).
- His odd obsession of buying all his used cars from the same guy that ripped him off every time he needed a different vehicle.
- He was really good at Pinball.
- He reminds me of Archie Bunker, Peter Griffin & Homer Simpson.
- How he’d miss every school event I was in, not show up at things, be late and still know everything and brag to all his friends about me. How him and his friends would meet each week at a campus bar to watch my college news broadcasts.
- How the first thing he did when he arrived at anything was plan how he’d be leaving. If it were up to him, he’d rather be drinking at a bar playing cribbage, be in his ripped underwear laying in his bed eating all his meals with his 13″ tv less than a foot from his face with an overflowing ashtray or out by himself in a fishing boat.
- How he never let money burn a hole in his pocket. One time he got some money from a car accident and he went out & was determined to buy me and my brother Sprites (Honda Sprees ~ for some reason he always called things the wrong name). We didn’t need one, we needed two because that was exactly how much money he had (even though we were adamant that we didn’t need any). I think because he was a mailman on campus (the UW-Madison where I went) and all the rich kids drove them around, he wanted us to have them.
- How he delivered mail to two of the buildings I lived in during college with only seeing each apartment one or two times.
- How he called my best friend Hershfelder all the time when his actual name was Hershleder (“Dad it’s Hersleder” ~ “Hershleder, Hershfelder…I call him Hershfelder).
- How every bartender on campus knew my Dad. The Nitty Gritty on campus had the “Mailman’s Sandwich” named after him.
- How I was really not into the Frat/Sorority scene on campus but they all loved my Dad – their mailman. They always gave him beer and xmas presents (one sorority gave him a silver lighter engraved “To the best Dick we know” ~ he loved that).
- How we’d find mail in the back of our car & he’d say “Don’t worry about it, I’ll deliver it tomorrow.”
- How he could go fishing for 8 hours, not get a single bite & say he had a great day fishing.
- His famous “all I need is a cot & a 2×4 room” quote.
- How he talked with his eyes shut.
- How proud he was of his kids and told everyone except them.
- He once told me of the four kids, he knew I was special and “we were going to put money away for your college and future but we didn’t.”
- How he snuck me a card at my college graduation that said “I’m so proud of you.” I never ever knew him to buy a card for anyone. It was a huge shock because it was so unlike him and I’ll never ever forget it.
- Him running around in his big white ripped underwear no matter who was at our house…
- How when he first met my sister’s fiance’s family and everyone was talking about nationalities he told them every once and awhile my Mom has a little Irish in her!
- He hated to talk on the phone. The extent of a phone conversation with my Dad was “I’ll get your Mom.”
- How much he smoked and how he ate everything possible that was bad for you. If it wasn’t fried, it wasn’t for him!
- He’d help a stranger paint his house and never paint his own.
- He never touched a computer!
- How we always had to pull to the side of the road so he could pee. And, he could pee anywhere.
I know everyone thinks it is never good timing when someone dies, but my Dad picked the worst time. He died the day before I was flying home with the twins to have him see them for the first time. He fell down the stairs at their house & died. It was late, I’m sure he had been drinking & he always got home and took his pants off at the top of the stairs & hung them there for the next day. I think he had an aversion to wearing pants in the house. The reason we were coming home when the kids were 4 months-old: they were old enough to fly, it was the day before my brother’s birthday, the upcoming Sunday was Father’s day, the twin’s baptism was to be on Father’s Day and the following Saturday was my sister’s wedding. We had a big vacation week planned. Instead, we got to have a birthday, a baptism, father’s day, a funeral & a wedding all in one week (and probably one of the hottest, most humid Junes I remember in Wisconsin). My little brother & I had to walk my sister down the aisle at her wedding…It was TRULY an extremely depressing week ~ an understatement. And, I was so excited to have my Dad meet the kids. One of the babies had the beer belly just like his grandpa & the same laugh.
I talked to him on Wednesday and he died on Thursday. The kids gurgled on the phone and he said hi. 1,500 people came to my Dad’s funeral…It seemed like everyone knew him ~ from everywhere he delivered mail to every bar he ever frequented. Hershfelder even flew in!
He was a goof, he was funny & he really made me laugh. He may not have been a traditional Dad, but I love him and I do miss him….I think about him all the time. He should have went golfing with us today ~ there was a beer cart.
~ now this is only like 5:00 or 6:00 pm. So, I get in the elevator and lean against the wall for support and accidentally press every button. As, we stop at each floor, one of the two guys leans over me to push the “Door Close” buttons ~ He doesn’t look too thrilled. At about Floor 3, I recognize “Door Close” guy as golfer Jim Furyk. And, then I put 2 & 2 together and realize “Shirtless” guy is Tiger Woods (I was expecting a much bigger than life guy & he was pretty close to my size ~ much more muscles though). So, the next time Furyk goes to push “Door Close” button, I say “let me, I feel somewhat to blame for this.” At Floor 11 Furyk and other guy (I’m guessing his caddy) get off elevator.
