Survivor
Where to start….What an experience….I’ve always loved the show Survivor & it is probably the one show the kids & I sit down each week all on one couch and watch. They continue to beg me to go on the show (like I have some control over it because I am after all their Dad). So I did apply for season 12 and sent in a DVD (a pretty funny DVD I must add), but never heard anything back (like I even expected to….my guess is they get a million tapes).
So, when my buddy told me about the audition in Portland, I knew I had to do it for the kids. Knowing I probably have no shot at it, I still went so that I could tell the boys I did it for them. Either way I knew the kids would get a kick out of it & love to tell people that I did it! I’m sure they’ll think I have a shot at getting on the show and be shocked when I’m not on it.
So the deal is you need to fill out a 15 page application & show up and wait in line for a two minute taped session. It was suppose to start at 4:00 p.m. over on my side of town in Beaverton, OR. So, I figured I could get there at 3:00 p.m. and all would be good. Then everyone started making me believe it’d be packed & I better get there even earlier. So, I met another buddy for a late lunch real close to the audition & was going to have him drop me off so I did not have to hassle with parking. I thought it’d be a zoo & jam packed. I actually didn’t get into line until 3:30pm. It didn’t look so bad – maybe 200 people in front of me…I thought what a snap…should take an hour or so…
Well it was freezing & at one point I did find out that I was about at the 170 person mark in line. Our area was told we would definitely make it in for auditions. It took 4 ½ hours to get in the building… They were only interviewing two people at a time. Once you made it in the building it was about another hour until your turn. It was a crazy long-ass cold as hell wait. And, believe it or not, you are surrounded by a bunch of raving loony-tunes. There were some very odd people in line. Several people with young kids they dragged with them. I felt pretty bad for the four year-old girl standing in front of me. It was cold out there! One woman was pushing a dual-stroller with real young kids – not sure if people just didn’t want to get babysitters or were looking for the sympathy vote. One gal showed up on a bike wearing a bikini.
Now the venue was Standard TV & Appliance. I’m guessing they got lots of advertising because of the event, but I think they probably got some bad PR too. It seemed like there were a lot of cold bitter people in line. They only allowed about 60 people in the building at a time when they could have easily allowed much more & had a longer line inside where it was warm. They gave the first 100 auditions t-shirts (they actually should have just gave everyone a t-shirt, it really would not have been that much more & some people really wanted those shirts). They put on the website in BOLD no one could use their bathrooms (people were crossing the busy streets to go ½ block to Starbucks, gas stations & other spots to go to the bathroom).
Also, communication would have been nice. No one knew how long anything would take or what to expect. A lot of people waited in line without the chance of even getting to audition. I bet about 200 people got the chance to give their two minute speech.
It was odd, that once you waited soooo long and were sooooo cold for so long that the final climax was a quick two minutes…I got my time in the spotlight & told them my story…I mentioned I was pretty damn funny, was a single father to two incredibly great 10 year-old twin boys and that I have done seven Hood-to-Coast 194 mile relays, triathlons, 100’s of 5 k’s and being a swimmer I thought I had what it takes to not only be on Survivor but to win it. I mentioned I was my boys’ hero & that this would just make me even larger than life for them & that is why I wanted to be on the show.
All in all, I loved the experience, the life experience. I guess I’m not as crazy as those who got there at 5:00 am, but interacting with strangers & having a bizarre bond because you all experienced it & then walking away to probably never see any of them again was definitely interesting. It was definitely an experience.